Darn you parental guilt!!
Posted: 17 February 2010 10:30 PM
AwesomeSauce
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As a grown woman, I find it amazing that my mother unconsciously wields guilt as an awesome weapon to make me do things I REALLY don't want to. For instance, today I had to shovel out my loaner car, and drive to my mother's to clean the ice and snow off 3 cars, and clear the walk all before work at 8am. ..Now my back is killing me! >_<

Anyone else's parents evoke a similar response?
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Posted: 17 February 2010 10:58 PM   [ # 1 ]
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Not really, but I've always been on the stubborn side... My mom isn't around, I don't talk to my dad and my wife's parents are pretty fair. They only ask me to do things like bring down whatever plate/cup/etc. that I used, if it is theirs or to do my share of the house work. <3

On the other hand, they have a way of making us feel guilty the few times we've moved away from home for seasonal jobs. raspberry
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Posted: 18 February 2010 04:12 AM   [ # 2 ]
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Pack your bags, you're going on a guilt trip! My mother is the queen of guilt trips, but I'm stubborn, and refuse to do things I know I don't want to do...my sister used to live three hours away, and my mom would guilt trip her into coming down for the weekend, despite how many times she told Mom that she couldn't afford it...she ended up getting behind on her rent, and bills, and now she's staying with me, and my live in boyfriend until she can get on her feet. However, asking my mother to do anything for you, is like pulling teeth...if it's not convenient for her, or doesn't benefit her in any kind of way, she doesn't want any part of it...I don't know, she's insane...
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Posted: 18 February 2010 12:31 PM   [ # 3 ]
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When I lived at home my mom used to guilt me into babysitting some or all 8 of my nephews/nieces, that SHE offered to take care of. I HATED it! Now my parents live in Puerto Rico so the guilt trip no longer works.
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Posted: 04 May 2010 03:37 AM   [ # 4 ]
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OMG! My mother is absolutely the worst. I am 41 years old and for crap sake she still drags me into crap.... now she uses the 'I am getting on in years' thing. Ok so here is the latest scenario which has been taking place over the last 3 months.... Yeah 3 months of it....

Last year my middle son announces that he is marrying his highschool sweet heart after many years of them dating. She wants it in the States and loves my mother's property...set in Idaho near the mountains...beautiful in the summer. Ok cool... So they talk to my mother about this and all is good she is extatic that they want this there. Awesome. I contact my mom and see if there is anything they need to get ready for this wedding...which is in July of this year BTW...She says yes...and I fly from the UK to the States and stay a month with her helping her get her 7 bedroom house in order and such...Now you have to know that my mom is a 'hoarder' and it is not a little bit of clutter or carelessly lain items....NO this huge fricking house is FULL!!! TO THE DAMN RAFTERS!! only pathways to find the toilet type of clutter. Basement? what basement! anyway, so I help her go through the entire house and we get 95% of it done, she was happy and all smiles at this point, but asked me where a few things were I told her and all was goo...but by this point I have been away from my husband a month. So I go home...after falling down the stairs and breaking my ankle...TYVM...

SOOO making a long story shorter here... I get home get a call saying that the date needs to be moved because my son will not be home from Afghanistan in time for the wedding...call mom...she freaks out...Bride freaks out...Son #1 calls me...Freaks out...Mom calls me...Freaking out...daughter(18 yo) calls me ALL yelling at me because I have ruined everything WHAT THE HELL! I am not the damn army!.... THEN My mother contacts me on FACEBOOK saying that I showed up on her doorstep UNANNOUNCED with NO warning... gutted her house...ruined the wedding and that I was not allowed to set foot on her property for the wedding and neither was my daughter(18yo) because she was a druggy and drinker (which could not be further from the truth btw) and if I were any type of mother I would do something about her... WTF! oh it gets better too... THEN she sends me another message saying that I stole money from my sister.... WHEN I WAS 10!!! and I was a thief so she did not want a druggie and thief at her house during the wedding! AND also my son NOW cannot have the wedding at her house as was originally planned because I am a poop mom and if I were any type of daughter I would apologise for all of the inconvenience that I have put her through over the last few months and send some type of consolation gift... WHAT!!!

At this point I have not responded and I will not I talked to my son and daughter-in-law and told them they will have to handle things with Gramma cause she is psychotic and I am so not going to deal with her crap....

Ok...here is the million dollar question.... Apologise to mom and smooth things over so son can have what he wants for his wedding... or tell her to kiss my ass and pay for a new wedding venue as well as the extra £2K for changing our trip itineraries...Because my son and his fiancee cannot afford to.
[ Edited: 04 May 2010 03:41 AM by WrothFire ]
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Posted: 04 May 2010 09:12 AM   [ # 5 ]
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Gah,

That's quite the pile of accusations. I guess talk to your son and his bride to be and see what they want to do. I am squarely in the "It's just one day in your life" crowd on weddings. I think that despite what they choose to do, you should defend yourself against your mothers accusations to the best of your abilities. Just politely and firmly tell her that she is mistaken on many fronts, and you feel you have nothing to apologize for. That's what I would do in the situation, sorry you have to deal with it head on. :(
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Posted: 05 May 2010 06:13 AM   [ # 6 ]
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My mom tries to force me to change my marriage, marry my fiance even though we're wanting to wait.... I wish she just guilted me over small stuff....
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Posted: 05 May 2010 08:31 PM   [ # 7 ]
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Eith - 04 May 2010 01:12 PM
Gah,

That's quite the pile of accusations. I guess talk to your son and his bride to be and see what they want to do. I am squarely in the "It's just one day in your life" crowd on weddings. I think that despite what they choose to do, you should defend yourself against your mothers accusations to the best of your abilities. Just politely and firmly tell her that she is mistaken on many fronts, and you feel you have nothing to apologize for. That's what I would do in the situation, sorry you have to deal with it head on. :(


Thanks...this is exactly what I will do... I so wish I did not have a beast for a mother at times...meh...off to call son and bride...
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Posted: 05 May 2010 08:43 PM   [ # 8 ]
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@Wroth, wow and I thought my mother was a psycho.

I know it probably won't make you feel any better, but don't worry, you're not the only one with a crazy parent!! My mother in-law just went through almost exactly the same thing with her mother. And I completely agree with Eith, if you let her pull this with you now she will continue to pull this crap forever and that's not fair to you since you haven't done anything to deserve that kind of treatment.

I hope you get everything sorted out with the wedding and that it all turns out in the end.

Lots of luv
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Posted: 06 May 2010 05:23 PM   [ # 9 ]
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Melanopterus - 05 May 2010 10:13 AM
My mom tries to force me to change my marriage, marry my fiance even though we're wanting to wait.... I wish she just guilted me over small stuff....


I know EXACTLY how you feel on that one, girl.
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