App or CrApp:  Unicorn Zombie Apocalypse

X1up Girl | September 10 2014

After reading the title of this game, I know nobody sees what direction this review is going...

I couldn't figure out which app to review for this month, so I decided to play a dangerous game of App Roulette: essentially, I visited the Game Gal random word generator to get two random words and use the first free app that pops up in a search.  First try I got "unicorn buttons," but amazingly the search found no apps.  Deciding to keep the first random word, I tried again with "unicorn handwriting" and still no luck. So I gave up and searched on "unicorn" and found the gem:

Oh yes....this game I had to play.

The premise behind this game is simple. You're a unicorn. Fly around avoiding zombies or shoot them with your deadly rainbow laser beams and collect gold stars.  Move your unicorn by touching and dragging the left side of the screen and tapping the right side to shoot.

There is only one level to this game and it's unending.  AND the background image doesn't change. You basically continue playing until you meet your inevitable demise.

There is only one motivation to keep playing:  certain scores will unlock different unicorns....yay?

Why'd you want a blue, green, or orange unicorn instead of a pink one is beyond me though.  

I do have a few technical issues with this game.  The first being that this isn't technically a unicorn.  It's a pegacorn (half unicorn, half Pegasus).  Also, zombies don't fly.  A zombie with wings I'm sure has some other nomenclature that I can't find on Google.  Maybe vampire or demon? I dunno.  I also wasn't too keen on them ripping off PvZ style zombies for this.

But here's the biggie.  I am not a game developer, but I do write software.  And one of the first programs that people write when learning a new programming language is typically a "hello, world" program that demonstrates the basic syntax to render the text "hello, world" to the screen.  I have messed around with some game programming (usually I'll be intrigued for a day or two and then get distracted by a squirrel), but I know enough to be able to identify this as a "hello, world" game.  I can't imagine this took someone more than a weekend to write.  Sure, it's a game and you can play it but there isn't much substance here.  And if this was just a "hey, I wrote this, I hope you enjoy" kind of game app, I'd be ok with that.  But once you download it and launch it to play, it's pretty apparent the real motive of the developer...

A giant, poorly sized ad for Bubble Witch Saga 2 with a tiny "x" in the corner to close (which you're more than likely going to accidentally click the wrong area and have the Bubble Witch Saga 2 app store pop up launch than successfully closing the ad, at least the first time playing this that is).  Honestly, this is pretty disappointing.  I'm not against ads in games, but at least make the game worth it.  This game isn't in that category at all.

Overall Rating:  CrApp

With ripped off PvZ zombie-like graphics and shallow game design, it's pretty evident this game is designed to grab your attention and get your ad clicks rather than to genuinely embrace a unicorn zombie apocalypse theme.  Don't waste your time downloading.

Tags:

Comments

Mlithog
Mlithog Wed 10 Sep
A winged unicorn is an alicorn.
X1up Girl
X1up Girl Wed 10 Sep
Pegacorn and alicorn are both correct: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winged_unicorn
X1up Girl
X1up Girl Wed 10 Sep
*valid, I mean.
Mlithog
Mlithog Thu 11 Sep
BLASPHEMY

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Platform/s:iOS
Price:FREE

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